Self-Esteem 101: How to Improve the Way You See Yourself

Let’s talk about the voice that lives in your head.

The one that says you’re not doing enough.

That you’re not pretty enough.

That you’ll never be like her.

That voice?

It’s not your truth.

It’s your self-esteem — bruised, broken, or never fully built — echoing stories that were never yours to begin with.

And if you’ve ever felt like your self-esteem was “low” or “nonexistent,” please hear this:

You are not broken.

You are not weak.

You’ve just learned to see yourself through distorted lenses — and it’s time to take them off.

In this post, we’re diving deep into what self-esteem really is, why so many of us struggle with it, and how to start improving the way you see yourself — for real, this time.

 What is Self-Esteem, Really?

Self-esteem is the way you value and accept yourself.

It’s not about always being confident.

It’s not about being perfect.

It’s not about being liked by everyone.

High self-esteem simply means:

🌿 I believe I matter.

🌿 I trust that I’m enough.

🌿 I treat myself with the same love I give others.

Low self-esteem, on the other hand, often sounds like:

❌ “I’m not good enough.”

❌ “I don’t have anything valuable to offer.”

❌ “Why would anyone choose me?”

And babe — that’s not who you are. That’s who you were taught to be.

Why We Struggle With Low Self-Esteem

Here’s the thing: most of our self-esteem wounds didn’t come from us.

They came from…

Parents who criticized instead of encouraged

Teachers who praised performance over personhood

Friend groups that excluded us

Relationships that made us feel replaceable

Society’s impossible beauty and success standards

And if no one ever taught you how to love and accept yourself unconditionally — how could you be expected to just “have” high self-esteem?

So let’s stop blaming ourselves for what we were never given.

And instead, let’s rebuild what was always meant to be yours: your self-worth.

 Step 1: Stop Defining Your Worth by Productivity, Perfection, or Performance

This is the root of so much low self-esteem.

We tie our worth to what we do, not who we are.

So we hustle for validation. Overachieve. People-please.

And when we’re not doing those things?

We feel empty.

💬 Reframe to Practice:

“My worth is not earned. It is remembered.”

🌀 Try This:

Make a list of 10 things that make you you that have nothing to do with your appearance, productivity, or accomplishments.

Start seeing yourself through your being, not your doing.

 Step 2: Choose One Thought Daily to Believe On Purpose

We often ask, “How do I stop thinking these negative things about myself?”

But the truth is, you don’t fight negative thoughts by resisting them.

You replace them — with something stronger.

💬 Try This Daily:

Choose one belief to anchor into every morning. Write it on a sticky note, put it on your phone wallpaper, repeat it aloud.

Examples:

“I am allowed to take up space.”

“I am loveable as I am.”

“My voice matters.”

“I choose to see myself with kind eyes.”

🌀 Why This Works:

Repetition builds belief. And belief builds your new identity — one day at a time.

 Step 3: Practice Inner Validation Before Seeking External Approval

Im not saying external praise is bad — I’m saying it can’t be your only source of worth.

Because if you only feel good when someone else says you are… you’ll always be chasing approval and never building trust in you.

💬 Ask Yourself:

“What do I think about this — without anyone else’s input?”

“If I didn’t need to prove anything to anyone, what would I choose?”

“How can I validate myself right now?”

🌀 Affirmation:

“I am the source of my own validation.”

 Step 4: Heal Your Relationship with Mistakes & Imperfection

You cannot build healthy self-esteem while demanding perfection.

You’re human. You’re learning. You will get it wrong sometimes.

That’s not failure — it’s feedback.

💬 Reframe This Thought:

Instead of “I messed up,” try “I’m learning how to show up differently.”

🌀 Try This Practice:

Every evening, write down one thing you did well and one thing you’re learning from.

Both are wins. Both matter.

 Step 5: Surround Yourself With Reflective, Loving Energy

Sometimes your self-esteem struggles aren’t just internal — they’re reinforced by environments that keep you small.

You need mirrors that reflect your power, not your perceived flaws.

That means:

Curating your social media feed

Setting boundaries with people who diminish you

Spending time with friends who speak life into you

Listening to empowering podcasts (hello, Glow Up Guide Collective)

Joining communities where your growth is celebrated

🌀 Reminder:

Self-esteem blooms in safe spaces. Choose people and places that remind you who you really are.

 Final Thoughts:

Improving your self-esteem isn’t about becoming someone else.

It’s about returning to the truth of who you’ve always been —

A whole, worthy, radiant woman who’s allowed to take up space, make mistakes, be messy, and still be deserving of love.

So let this be the day you stop seeing yourself through the eyes of your past — and start seeing yourself through the lens of possibility, softness, and self-respect.

You are not too far gone. You are not behind.

You are already enough — and your glow-up starts within. 💫